Confessions For AkuRoku Day! 2008
by Th3WitchingHour
Summary: Just some fluff for AkuRoku Day! The Organization has disbanded and Roxas is trying to deal with his new found freedom...and his feelings for a certain redhead. Slightly AU. Yaoi. Fluffiness. Implied Zemyx and XemnasXSaix. Read and Review Please!


**A/N: **should be writing for Unprepared (I need to think of a new name for that fic, hm) but due to lack of reviews and other things, I haven't. But it's on my to do list, for certain. For now I just _had _to write a quick (and by quick I mean 15 or so pages) AkuRoku-y thing for AKUROKU DAY! Yay! This is my first year celebrating the pairing and I'm a little more excited than I should be…

So I spit this out in a day, rather quickly. It's not very creative and I may very possibly redo it later…well no I'd probably just write something new. Anyway, when I write I usually only write once and reread once, so errors and awkward sentences are sometimes missed, but it's worth the read for sure.

**Warnings: **delicious yaoi (boyxboy) and fluff included. Don't like means don't read! I haven't had trouble with homophobes yet, and I hope to keep it that way.

**Disclaimer: **Seriously, I think it's obvious I don't own anything but the story.

…

The smallest Nobody sat up in his bed and peered through the darkness.

Heh, _darkness, _God, how he was sick of it. No matter which way he turned his existence seemed to be plagued by monochromatic darkness. He woke up every day to the same sight. There was no 'morning' here, no 'sun', and as the days passed he found himself longing for some form of light.

Roxas stretched and flung his legs over the side of the bed. He glanced briefly around the room before sighing, resting his head in his hands, and pulling his fingertips through his golden hair.

He'd been in the Organization for almost two years now, and the youngest member found himself mildly surprised that he'd been present to see its downfall. Yes, Xemnas had recently decided to give up his plan of stealing hearts. Roxas couldn't help but roll his eyes upon hearing the news. They had all known the plan was ridiculous from the start, but instead chose held on to the foolish hope that their Superior provided.

And now that hope was gone.

Good riddance, as far as Roxas was concerned. He was never much for false hope, and the only issue he had with Xemnas's radical change in plan was that the young Nobody now had no idea what to do with himself.

Standing, Roxas padded across his room to the bathroom, not bothering to turn on the lights – as he had become more than accustomed to the darkness already – and turned on the tap, splashing icy cold water in his face.

Staring at his shadowy outline in the mirror, Roxas for the hundredth time that week pondered what to do with himself. He had long since discovered the truth about his Somebody, Sora, but Namine had taken it upon herself to reunite Sora and his friends, Kairi and Riku. She claimed that with the three of them together again, Sora's heart was complete. He didn't need Roxas anymore. Roxas was free.

Roxas sighed heavily and clenched his hands on the side of the sink. It hurt, really. To not be needed. Even Organization XIII didn't need his help, now that they had essentially disbanded.

Roxas walked out of the bathroom and fell back onto his bed heavily, staring blindly at the dark ceiling and trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling of restlessness. From the corner of his eye he could see his keyblades propped against the wall next to his coat and boots.

The other members seemed to be dealing with their newfound uselessness easily enough. But Roxas supposed part of this was because many of them had given up on Xemnas's plan years ago, with the assumption that they couldn't feel and never would. Roxas scoffed. Ridiculous.

Of course they had feelings. Heart or no, it was pretty difficult to deny. It took quite some time, and a lot of convincing – primarily on Saix's part – to get Xemnas to come to this conclusion. Not until Xemnas and Saix had, ahem, _consummated _their relationship, did Xemnas finally let up on the whole heart-stealing plan and decided that they _could_ feel in some way or another and should be happy enough with what they had.

Roxas had known his emotions didn't belong to Sora. Sure he still had a commonality with the boy, but Roxas knew what he felt for Riku was nothing short of repugnance – a feeling he was certain Sora didn't share. And he held no particular affection for the redheaded girl, Kairi, whom Sora seemed quite infatuated with. No Roxas found himself interested a certain other redhead these days…

Groaning at the thought, Roxas finally sat up and walked toward the door, determined to distract himself. He'd found himself brooding more often than not these days, and even he was getting a little short tempered with himself. Grabbing his coat off the couch, Roxas slid his arms beneath the black leather and zipped it up with practiced ease, before pulling open his door and stepping out into the dimly lit hallway.

Roxas headed down towards the kitchen. Because he was the last member of the Organization, his room was situated at the end of the hall, so every day he made the long trek to the kitchen, passing the doors of the other members on the way. More often than not, they were closed and silent, like today, ignoring the blond boy that walked by them. Roxas was a little interested to note that even though the Organization had shut down almost a month ago, none of the members had left.

Not that Roxas blamed them. Even he was reluctant to leave. When you're a Nobody, it's comforting – yes _comforting _for a Nobody – to know that you're not alone. Besides, where could they go? Thanks to Xemnas, the members of Organization XIII were pretty well known 

throughout the worlds. Roxas suspected there weren't many places where they'd be welcomed with open arms.

He passed a door with an VIII carved into it and paused for a moment, briefly considering knocking. He knew the occupant was sleeping, as Roxas had chosen to get up much earlier than usual. Still, he reached out a hand to the doorknob, half tempted to rouse the man inside as he had been accustomed to doing, but at the last minute he decided that today he needed some time alone.

Roxas walked further down the hall and descended the stairs quietly. His time spent as Number XIII had taught him to move swiftly and silently, so that by the time he made it to the kitchen, the current occupants took a moment before noticing he was there.

Demyx looked up from his bowl of cereal and spoke first. He plastered a wide, but undoubtedly genuine, grin on his face before calling out a cheery: "Morning, Roxas!" A few remnants of cereal spewed forth from his mouth and across the tabletop, landing dangerously close to an open book placed in front of the kitchen's only other occupant.

Zexion sighed pulling his book closer to him and eyeing the chunks of food warily, as if daring them to come any closer. "Demyx, would it be too much to ask that you swallow your breakfast before speaking."

Demyx smiled sheepishly at the slate haired Nobody sitting across from him, making a point to swallow his food before responding. "Sorry, Zexy!"

Zexion merely rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to his book, taking a moment to mumble a brief, "Hello, Roxas," as said boy walked past him and pulled open the fridge.

Roxas couldn't say he was surprised to find Demyx and Zexion together at the table. It was honestly becoming a challenge to find one without the other. During the days leading up to the end of Organization XIII, Zexion had started to go out of his way to spend time around Demyx. Of course, Zexion wasn't the clingy type and had no intentions of following Demyx around like a dog. Instead Zexion had taken it upon himself to gravitate towards places Demyx frequented, more often than not heading to the exact place Demyx was going, causing it to seem like Demyx was the one doing the following. It took Roxas a while before he realized what Zexion was doing, and if Demyx ever realized it, he obviously chose not to say anything.

Roxas understood why Zexion had chosen to pursue the Mohawked Nobody. Demyx had always thought that the Nobodies had hearts, and his firm belief in that fact had made him a lot more optimistic and cheerful than the other members, who, Roxas admitted, could be real downers sometimes, himself included.

Roxas stared at the contents of the fridge, dully noticing his lack of hunger. It was more routine that brought him to the kitchen than anything else, but, since he was here, Roxas opted to open the freezer and pull out a bar of sea salt ice cream before plopping down in the seat next to Demyx, tearing off the paper and sticking the cold, blue bar into his mouth with a sigh.

Demyx looked over to him and then back at the door. Pausing a moment in thought before saying. "Wow, Rox, this is the first time I've seen you off by yourself in weeks! Everything ok?"

Roxas turned his gaze to face Demyx, not failing to note the underlying concern in the Nobody's question. Roxas pursed his lips around the ice cream. True, he rarely ever wandered around by himself. Hell, he was no less obsessive than Zexion when it came to…well…

"I couldn't sleep so I came down early," Roxas mumbled, pulling the blue ice cream from his lips. "I didn't think he'd appreciate being woken up at..." Roxas glanced at the clock. Damn. It _was_ early. "Six-oh-nine in the morning. I'm not even sure he _knows _there's a six am."

Demyx hummed lightly in the back of his throat as he took another bite of cereal. He glanced over at Zexion and swallowed his mouthful completely before saying: "I dunno, Roxas, somehow I don't think he'd mind."

Zexion sent Demyx a look before returning his gaze to his book. Roxas just shook his head but chose not to respond. Instead Roxas stood, returning the ice cream bar to his mouth. Waving a brief goodbye to the pair, Roxas left the kitchen, suddenly feeling the need to be away from the conversation.

He really didn't want to talk about the particular redhead. It was bad enough that the man was on his mind every waking hour of the day, and, much to Roxas's dismay, many a night. Even now, he's all Roxas can think about, and though Roxas so desperately wanted solitude, he can't help but find himself longing for a certain person's companionship.

Reaching one of the many balconies throughout the castle, Roxas moved to the railing, tossing the remainder of his ice cream over the side and watching as it plummeted a good hundred feet to its death. Roxas stared at the blurred image of ground below and groaned, fisting his bare hands – he'd stopped wearing the gloves weeks ago – in his hair and squeezing his eyes shut. Ever since he'd begun to accept the idea that he did indeed have feelings, Roxas had been forced to deal with these newfound, and quite unwelcomed, emotions.

The moment he'd realized how he _felt _about the redheaded pyro, he'd been forced to acknowledge that these feelings extended way beyond simple friendship. At first, Roxas had been determined to write them off as familial – a sort of innocent, brotherly love. They were certainly close enough. But even then Roxas knew he was only kidding himself. His thoughts, at least, moved way beyond 'innocent' when it came to this particular redhead.

The two of them had been together since the beginning. The pyromanic Nobody had been the one to first discover Roxas after he'd separated from Sora all that time ago. Since then, Roxas had clung to the man unconsciously, and soon enough the two had become partners. Rarely one went on a mission, however mundane, without the other. Soon they had shaped a friendship. Even when Roxas was in denial about his ability to feel, he admitted to developing a friendship with the older Nobody.

Now, well, it was a lot more complicated than that.

Sighing again – really he seemed to be doing that a lot these days – Roxas propped his chin on his hands and stared off into the perpetual night (**A/N: **lol!) that made up the World That Never Was.

Roxas couldn't help but roll his eyes. God, that was a stupid name for the place: '_the World That Never Was'._ What the hell does that even mean? It existed, just as the Organization did, in some way or another. The fact that they could interact with each other and outside worlds was proof enough, in Roxas's mind.

Dully, Roxas heard the balcony door open and close behind him. He felt himself tense up slightly, but not in fear. He didn't bother to turn around, and wasn't the least bit surprised to see a familiar redhead slide in his peripheral vision.

Roxas had to fight down a shiver when Axel spoke. "You're certainly up early." His voice was laced with a light grogginess, telling Roxas he must've just gotten out of bed.

Roxas grunted. "So are you."

The other shrugged, turning his emerald eyes on his companion. Roxas avoided the gaze, training his eyes on the heart shaped moon lighting up the city in the distance.

Roxas hated that fucking moon.

An audible sigh from his left brought his gaze to his companion at last. Roxas had time to resent the man for his ability to look stunning all hours of the day. Yeah, he said stunning, so what? It was true. Axel's spiky red hear was a little disheveled from sleep, but it still fell gracefully across his neck and shoulders, making him look more endearing than anything else. His piercing jade eyes, still clouded by sleep, peered back at Roxas with a look of concern and…something else Roxas couldn't place. The moonlight shone across Axel's skin, making it seem even paler than usual, and the two diamond tattoos on his cheeks only furthered to accentuate this contrast. The taller Nobody also wore his black cloak, but, like Roxas, had refrained from donning his gloves and boots.

Raising an eyebrow at the man, Roxas forced himself to make eye contact. "What?"

Number VIII sighed again before rolling his shoulders lightly. Roxas's gaze couldn't help but follow the movement. "I dunno, Rox, you just seem so…moody these days."

Roxas's eyebrow rose further until it was almost completely lost under his bangs. "Yeah, because I was a regular ball of sunshine and giggles before, right?"

Roxas could almost feel the warmth spread through his being when the other man chuckled. "Well, God knows you were never the optimistic type, but, still, you seem a little down." He shrugged. "I just wish you'd talk to me about it, you know?"

Roxas could definitely feel the guilt start pouring in at those words. How _could _he talk to Axel about it? _Axel _was the problem. Still, he hated the thought of his best friend worrying about him.

Trying to act as nonchalant as possible, Roxas shrugged. "There's nothing to talk about." He pried his gaze away from Axel and back to the city glowing listlessly in the distance. "A lot's happened in the last few months. I'm just having trouble adjusting, I guess." He let out a mirthless chuckle. "When you're made to believe one thing, then the same person tells you almost the complete opposite, it's kinda hard to take."

Axel made an understanding sound in his throat and turned his gaze to join Roxas's over the city.

...

(later that day)

Roxas was edgy.

He'd been like that a lot lately, and Axel, who spent almost every moment of his screwed up existence with the blond, had noticed.

Axel had tried, on multiple occasions, to coax some kind of explanation out of Roxas, but was repeatedly met with the same tired excuses. Yeah, Xemnas's "change of heart" had shocked all of them – save for maybe Saix – but it shouldn't have had such a lasting effect on the blond. No, Roxas was the kind of person to take things in stride, Axel knew this. If something changed, well, then Roxas acknowledged this and dealt with it. He wasn't one to dwell on things.

Which was why Axel was so worried.

Back when Axel found out Sora was alive, he'd become worried they might try to take Roxas away, or, worse yet, Roxas might try to leave. …Ok so Axel had been in an absolute panic over that possibility. All the more reason to hide Roxas's past from him, a feat that, in all honesty, resulted in a lot of guilt on Axel's part.

But now, with Sora off saving the world with his two cronies, Roxas was free to 'live' his 'life' however he pleased.

Those days, weeks, months even he spent obsessing over his future and how Roxie-filled it may or not be had given Axel quite an epiphany as far as feelings go. Even back then, when Xemnas was still bitching about hearts and 'we have no feelings' and other angsty bullshit – honestly Axel had no idea how he was able to put up with it for as long as he did – Axel had realized _he,_ at least, could _feel. _

Axel knew whose fault it was too. Though it's not like Axel held any sort of contempt over it, no indeed. Ever since Roxas had entered his existence, Axel had never felt so…_alive. _

At first, Axel didn't know what to think. Spending time with Roxas had been so drastically different from the other members. Even Demyx, who had taken up most of Axel's time previously, had never been able to instigate the kind of feelings that Roxas could. With Roxas, all Axel needed was a small smile, a pout, or, if he was really, _really, _lucky, the smallest trace of a laugh and Axel's emotions would almost go into overload. He found himself hyper sensitive to the blond's moods, which was sometimes a bit irritating since Roxas was pretty angsty to begin with. But this was simply a challenge for Axel.

Axel wasn't the first or only member to notice his feelings for Roxas. Surprisingly enough, Xigbar was the first person to bring this fact to Axel's attention. Roxas had only been in the Organization a week or so, and he and Axel had already found themselves rather close, without realizing it.

"Hey, Xigbar!" Axel's boots echoed loudly against the white tile as he approached the elder Nobody. "You seen Roxas?"

Xigbar turned and fixed his good eye on Axel, a mischievous smile breaking across his scarred face. Axel couldn't help but be a bit unnerved. "Dude, I'm surprised you let him out of your sight long enough for him get away."

Axel furrowed his brows, unable to keep the defensiveness from his voice. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Xigbar let out a barking laugh. "Come on, the kid's barely left your side since he's gotten here, man." His taunting grin was back when he added. "You're different around him."

Axel growled, immediately regretting talking to the overly cocky, one eyed bastard. Axel fought the urge to lash out at Xigbar's good eye, instead opting to respond with a: "You implying something, Xig?"

Xigbar rolled his eye. "As if. All I'm saying is you've lightened up since the little dude's joined." He chuckled. "These days, you're almost bearable."

Axel scowled at the man, most of his anger coming from the knowledge that Xigbar was right. Axel _had _been a lot less…angry, he guessed, since Roxas came along. When Roxas was with him, he'd found himself laughing along with the other members, and being social to a point that was usually reserved for Demyx alone. But Demyx was a social guy, and hard to shake off, or dislike.

Since then Axel's mood had lightened up dramatically. Roxas hadn't realized the change so much as the rest of the members. Within the first month Roxas was there, Axel had gone from being an insufferable badass intent on pissing off every living, moving, and/or breathing being within a two mile radius of himself, to a playful, easygoing, son of a bitch whose sole ambition in life was to arouse any sort of emotion from Roxas's normally stoic face.

Basically, in the time it took Roxas to enter his life, Axel had become almost…_friendly _with the other members. Granted it was an annoying kind of friendly, but even Axel had noticed his pranks and conversations had gone from cruel mocking to amiable teasing pretty quickly.

But what surprised Axel the most, was that he liked it.

Now that they had no obligations, and the threat of losing Roxas had more or less dissipated, Axel was even more upbeat than before. He'd become, dare he say it, cheery? Axel was certainly no Demyx – he shuddered at the thought – but he'd changed and he was glad for it.

Bottom line was: he loved Roxas. Axel could admit it to himself so easily because he'd known for well over a year now. He _loved _Roxas. Not like a friend, or a brother. It wasn't some fake, fabricated love, wasn't lust – though he certainly felt some of _that _– no Axel was madly in love with his best friend. And he was okay with that.

If only Roxas felt the same.

Axel walked through the castle at a leisurely pace, searching, as he often did, for a familiar blond. Turning a corner, Axel decided to start searching the library. Roxas often found refuge there, especially when he's brooding. Axel assumed Roxas chose the library mostly because he knew Axel wasn't really into reading. It was quite awhile into their friendship before Axel had even considered searching the rows of books for his Roxie.

Axel entered the library a little warily. He really didn't like the place. Not just because of his opposition to learning or intellectual thought of any kind, but because of his rather traumatic experience there a few years ago, involving Demyx, a couple of misplaced spells, and a several viciously homicidal bookshelves.

Axel never fully recovered from the incident.

Sliding through the doorway, Axel moved quickly through the innards of a rather expansive library. Thousands of books lined the walls and filled the towering bookcases. The library was one of the largest rooms in the castle, and the almost maze-like quality of its layout made Axel all the more hesitant to enter. Luckily, Axel knew where Roxas could usually be found, and wasted no time in making a direct beeline for the far back corner of the library's third floor. He eyed the bookshelves cautiously as he passed, half expecting one to leap out at him with a deafening cry of retribution.

When he'd reached the back unscathed, he was immensely relieved to find Roxas sitting in the far back corner, staring out the window at the ever darkened sky. Axel was mildly surprised to see that Roxas's coat was off and lying on the armrest. Roxas wore only his black undershirt and pants. Even his boots had been discarded, and neither Roxas nor Axel chose to wear their gloves anymore. The moonlight cascaded over Roxas's small frame, making him look oddly fragile in the dim light. Roxas was far from frail, physically and mentally, but Axel surmised the young Nobody had never looked as vulnerable as he did in that moment.

Wordlessly, Axel walked up to Roxas and settled next to him on the couch, propping his feet up on the windowsill with a sigh.

Roxas spared him a glance before looking out the window once more. Roxas's persistent silence and generally reserved attitude was almost as irritating as it was unnerving now that Axel was certain something was bothering the young Nobody. Axel desperately wanted to help his friend – hell, there was _plenty_ of things Axel desperately wanted to do to his friend – but he felt helpless, and a little hurt, when Roxas consistently refused to talk about it.

"Ok, Roxas, seriously," Axel turned to face his friend, waiting until the blond looked at him before continuing. "What's the deal? Something's up, you're not telling me, and I don't like it. I want to help you, Roxas, but I can't if you won't talk to me about it."

Roxas's bottom lip jutted out in his patented pout, and Axel could practically feel his non-existent heart melt a little. It must have shown on his face because Roxas's expression quickly changed to a scowl. Though Axel didn't really mind, he liked those too.

"Dammit, Axel," there was more fatigue than anger in Roxas's voice. "Nothing's wrong, ok? So just lay the fuck off."

Axel was unfazed by the harshness in Roxas's words. By now, he'd become quite accustomed to this kind of response from the boy. It was just the way Roxas communicated, particularly when he's tense, so Axel didn't bother to take offence.

Instead the redhead grinned and slung an arm over Roxas's shoulders, taking a moment to appreciate the closeness.

Not to mention the blush staining the blond's cheeks.

Axel shifted ever so slightly closer to his companion, casually allowing his thigh to brush against Roxas's, before speaking. "Come now, Roxie, it's no good to keep all your problems bottled up inside like that. Tell your ol' pal Axel all your troubles, hm?"

Roxas shifted in his grasp and shoved his arm off, retreating to the far end of the couch with a huff. "Don't call me 'Roxie', jackass."

Axel feigned a hurt puppy dog expression and leaned closer to the blond, resting his weight on his hands. "Aw, Roxie, your harsh words cut me deep…"

Roxas only responded with an eye roll and a well placed shove to Axel's chest, forcing the older Nobody away from him. "Just lay off the cutesy nicknames. I'm not a girl, dammit."

Axel's face turned serious. "Then _talk _to me, Roxas."

Roxas shot him a glance before looking away. "I am talking to you, Axel." He muttered.

Axel was beginning to grow frustrated. Normally, Axel was the _only _person Roxas discussed his problems with. When Roxas wouldn't even talk to him, Axel thought that was a good time to worry. He fleetingly considered the possibility that Roxas might've noticed Axel's feelings for him…

"Roxas…" Axel said warningly. The blond shifted uncomfortably at Axel's tone and stood abruptly.

"It's ok. It's nothing. I'm going to bed." He made a move to leave but was stopped when Axel's hand shot out to grip his wrist. Axel vaguely noted how small Roxas's wrists felt beneath his fingers.

"Roxas." This time the word came out more like a growl before he jerked the blond backward, rousing a startled yelp from the smaller teen as he fell back against the couch.

Axel took advantage of Roxas's surprise and grabbed his other wrist, holding both the boys hands above his head and positioning himself in front of a very shocked and disgruntled looking Roxas.

"A-Axel! Dammit! Let go!" He squirmed fruitlessly in Axel's strong grasp and wore a look that clearly said he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Not until you tell me what the fuck your problem is." Axel's eyes narrowed, but he was unable to keep the hurt from his voice. "You've never had a problem telling me before, why should it be any different now?"

Roxas stopped in his struggles and brought his gaze to meet Axel's reluctantly. He'd obviously noticed the pain in the redhead's voice, because his voice softened considerably. "It's really not a big deal, Axel. Don't worry about it."

Axel's face twitched a little as he shook his head. He unconsciously leaned forward so that their noses were almost brushing. "No, Rox, it _is _a big deal. Whatever's going on with you has you all upset and distant and I don't like it at all." Axel stared intensely at Roxas's baby blue gaze, sincerity and concern etched into his features. "And I'm not moving until you tell me what the problem is."

Roxas let out a shuddering breath and attempted to lean away from Axel, but the back of the couch obstructed his movement. "Axel…" He was almost begging the redhead at this point. Roxas never begged.

Axel only responded with a stern stare. He wasn't about to let Roxas out of this one.

…

Roxas stared back into Axel's resolved gaze and shifted uncomfortably. He knew Axel wasn't going to give in this time. Axel's patience was already wearing thin, though Roxas hadn't failed to notice the other man's concern.

Shifting, Roxas averted his gaze back to the window just beyond Axel's shoulder. He considered just telling Axel and being done with it. Now was certainly as good a time as any, and the longer Roxas waited the longer he'd suffer.

Of course, the rejection he'd receive would probably be ten times worse.

Still, Roxas knew when to throw in the proverbial towel. Sighing in a very defeated manner he forced his gaze to meet Axel's, determined to at least go out like a man and not some twittering schoolgirl in front of a crush. Though that's certainly how he felt at the moment.

His body suddenly felt unbearably hot. He was so overwhelmed with anxiety that he almost made a break for it, but Roxas knew better than to imagine he could escape from Axel when the pyromaniac was like this. Roxas settle for bouncing his leg nervously and gave Axel the most intensely sober look he could muster, bracing himself for the inevitable rejection.

Axel seemed to notice the blond's change in attitude because the grip he had on Roxas's wrists gentled slightly to feel almost comforting. Roxas distantly wondered if he'd ever be comforted by the redhead again.

"Roxas." Axel muttered encouragingly, as if sensing the blond's hesitation.

Roxas sighed again, hardly able to believe what he was about to do. "Look, Axel, it's just that, well…" God, how was he supposed to tell the guy? "Uh…I'm pretty sure I'm in love…with…you…yeah."

Axel stared at him.

Well, this was…awkward. Roxas silently willed the couch to suck him into the cushions so he'd never have to see Axel reject him.

Axel's eyes widened while his mouth opened and closed uncertainly a few times. His face was flushed and even paler than usual.

Roxas had a bad feeling about this.

Roxas summoned every last bit of pride and self control he possessed at that moment to keep himself from falling apart. He'd never been in a situation like this before, so when Roxas felt a stinging pressure in the back of his throat, he had no idea what to do. His vision blurred and it wasn't until Roxas let out a quiet cough that he realized what was happening.

Roxas was crying. And damn it all if he didn't feel absolutely ridiculous. If he'd wanted the couch to eat him before, that desire had just increased tenfold. He'd never, in his almost-two-

year existence, cried. And Roxas couldn't say he liked it very much. Roxas struggled to keep it together, already feeling more than mortified at the fact that not only had he just confessed his love for his best (_male_) friend, but he'd then proceeded to _cry _in front of said friend like a fucking girl.

Roxas dropped his gaze and pulled weakly at his arms, still held firmly by the redhead. "Okay," Roxas said the word carefully. He swallowed thickly, relieved there was only a slight waver in his voice – not to mention he hadn't started bawling yet. "Okay, Axel," he winced when his voice cracked at the redhead's name. When'd he turn into such a damn pussy? "I told you, now, I really need you to let me go." He pulled at his wrists again, but to no avail. Why won't Axel let him wallow in his self pity alone? "Axel, please I –"

"Pretty sure?"

Roxas froze. The sound was barely above a whisper, and Roxas was almost sure he'd imagined it. His gaze traveled slightly closer to the redhead, but he still dare not look at his face. His mind was oddly sluggish, and his attempts to hold back the tears hindered any complex thought processes he may have hoped to have.

"Uh," Roxas's voice was shaky at best. "What?"

"You said," Axel paused and Roxas could hear him lick his lips tentatively. The older Nobody's voice was husky and low, as if his throat had gone completely dry. "You said that you were _pretty sure _you, uhm…_loved _me." Axel shifted a little in Roxas's peripheral vision. "I just…what do you mean, 'pretty sure'?"

Roxas let out a defeated sigh and could almost feel himself deflate. He might as well go all the way, there was no point in turning back now. "I mean that I'm absolutely head-over-heels-with-all-my-not-existing-heart-til-the-day-I-die in love with you."

Roxas heard Axel's breath hitch, and his general inexperience with love and anything emotional stalled him in deciding if this was a good sign or a bad one.

It only took Roxas a moment to decide it must've been one hell of a good sign. He hadn't realized immediately when Axel's hand let go of his, until said hand reached down to cup the blond's chin gently. Roxas only had a moment to be confused before he felt his face be turned up to stare into Axel's eyes. Axel's gaze searched his face for a moment before his grip on the blond's chin tightened and he leaned down to press his lips firmly against Roxas's quivering ones.

Roxas's brain shut down in that moment. Whether it was a second or an eternity, Roxas couldn't tell. But after however long, Axel began press slightly into the kiss moving his lips in a softly questioning motion. Waiting for Roxas to respond.

Well, you didn't have to ask him twice.

With more than a little uncertainty, Roxas leaned forward and pressed back into the kiss, mirroring Axel's movements and struggling to keep pace as the redhead increased his speed. Roxas brought his free hand up to tangle it in Axel's hair, trying to bring their lips even closer together. Axel grunted in response and tilted his head leaning forward. The hand on Roxas's face moved to his neck to rub his thumb across Roxas's jaw line. His other hand released Roxas's wrist and slid up to lace his fingers with the blond's.

Roxas couldn't repress the shiver when Axel leaned down to nip at Roxas's lower lip. He parted his lips on instinct and was shocked into a stupor when Axel slid his tongue into Roxas's open mouth.

When Axel's hand slid down Roxas's side to play with the skin just below his shirt, Roxas doubted he could form any coherent thought at that point.

They finally broke apart when air became an absolute necessity, Axel pulling back to lean his forehead against Roxas's. Roxas took a deep, shuddering breath before sliding his eyes open and meeting Axel's gaze.

"So…" Axel smiled tenderly at the blond, his eyes were practically shinning, and seemed several shades brighter than before. "That's what you've been obsessing over? The fact that you've totally got the hots for me?"

Roxas couldn't help but grin. He didn't even have the energy to roll his eyes and decided on just a single nod. "Yeah. Haven't been sleeping too well either."

"That bad, huh?" Axel muttered with a smirk.

Roxas returned the smile, not caring when a few leftover tears escaped, especially when Axel moved to wipe them away with his hand. "Yep, you're my world."

Axel's grinned widened, and he released a loud mirthful laugh. "Oh, Roxie, I didn't realize you were such a romantic."

Roxas smirked. "It wasn't obvious?"

Axel shook his head. "Well Rox, I wish you would've said something before." Axel leaned in his hand resting on Roxas's hip and tracing small, lazy circles against the bare skin there. "Because, I'm _pretty sure _I kinda, sorta, am absolutely crazy in love with you too."

Roxas inhaled sharply, unable to quell the stupid grin on his face at hearing Axel say those words. Axel smiled and slid his hand against the small of Roxas's back, pulling him closer and placing another soft kiss to Roxas's abused lips.

When they pulled apart a second time, Roxas closed his eyes and sighed, he felt drained after the panic from his confession subsided. He was, in a word: exhausted.

Axel seemed to notice and chuckled lightly. "Jeez, Rox." He moved to lie on the couch, pulling Roxas against him. Roxas nuzzled Axel's firm chest affectionately, a move he would never have done had he not been half asleep already, and fisted a hand in the older man's shirt.

He felt Axel's hand glide through his hair lulling him into a light doze. Roxas heard Axel mummer a quiet, "Night, Roxie." Before darkness overcame his senses and he fell into the most peaceful sleep of his existence.

…

**A/N: **did the ending feel rushed? lqtm I'm disappointed at the lack of sex too. But…I'm not ready to write it yet (though I'm certain I could write some steamy akuroku smexin). Maybe when I return to college and my parents aren't, like, in a 100ft radius of me…

Anyone else's teeth hurt after that sugary fluffyness? I need to brush my teeth now, I think.

Anyway I REALLY wanna know what you guys think of my writing style. I feel like I spent more time telling you what the characters think, rather than having them think it, and it made the story feel a bit…impersonal? I dunno, what do you think? How can I improve? I'm noticing a pattern in the way I write and I'm not sure I like it all that much.

REVIEW! RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT! Because it's polite.


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